When comparing yourself to others is helpful!

One thing that was major aha-moment in what made me feel depressed instead of encouraged was that I always compared myself to other people. This was both to people I knew but also with successful people I read about in media. So is then all comparison wrong? With what I know now it’s not totally wrong. 

But instead of comparing myself to everyone looking successful in social media I realised that I could instead choose a couple of role models that I should copy as much as I can. People whose story and values I knew a little about, not only their success but also the price they paid for that success. 

Eventually, the people that I admire would be Oprah or Charles XII of Sweden. Not some guy, whose Instagram account is flawless and following online is great but no one would follow anywhere in real life. So yeah comparison could work, as long as I made a conscious decision who to compare myself too.

So who do you wanna compare yourself too and learn from?

Early retirement - three basic steps!

The keys to being able to go into early retirement are three: Burn rate knowledge, putting the future you first, and strategic investing. Not that extreme...

1. A client of mine, a business owner, called me this summer and asked me this very question. I’m concerned about how much money I will have when I go into retirement, what do I do. Well, how much do you need every month to have the life that you seek when there’s no more regular income coming in? Was my question. You see, the first step is as simple as that: Get to know your burn rate. Alright, contact me if you need any help with that.


2. So step 2: putting the future you first. On payday every month you must set aside the right amount of money to be able to save up for the future you. The trick is simple: Mentally, put your money in three piles:

one pile is for the future you, let’s call it the foundation. This should be at least 10%.

next pile is for the debts that you might have. This should be about 20%.

and the third pile is for the rest, rent, food, travels, clothes, candy - you get it.

The take away here is that you come first, the first pile makes the foundation of what the future you will be able to spend when you’re not holding a job.


3. The third step in the keys for a smooth or early retirement is Strategic investing of the foundation. And here, to be honest, there are a number of ways to invest. So for most people we’re talking about long term investing, at least 15-20 years. 

You invest the foundation every month (the first pile, that we talked about last week). And here’s the trick: you’re not gonna spend it when you retire. The foundation is there to stay or hopefully even grow. But what comes from the investment or foundation, that’s yours to spend. To make it even simpler, the foundation is your apple tree and what it yields or returns to is the apples. You keep the apple tree forever, but yearly the tree will give you apples. And the apple tree might grow. 

How being friendly instead of nice gets you paid!

The first step or issue that we addressed with my therapist was the one concerning money. Until then in my life, I used to put other people’s needs before my own. And when it comes to client’s there’s a saying: The client is always right, huh? 

Well, it may be so in a lot of the cases. For example when you’re trying to find out what the typical client needs and what they’re prepared to pay for the service or product. Making out your target group or ideal client avatar so to speak.

I used to go about it the wrong way: I always put other peoples needs first, sometimes even if they hadn’t asked me. A good example is when someone asked me to help them with legal matters and I used to tell them: well the normal fee is 200$ an hour and the matter should take between 15 to 20 hours. But for you, since we know each other from whatever I’ll do it for 100$ per hour and you’ll need to pay only for 10-12 hours. This dysfunctional behaviour eventually took its toll on my economy, my relationships and my health. 

But you still want to help others consistently, that’s cool. But to be able to help others, you must first be able to help yourself, no? 

I see this with a couple of my coaching clients too, and I think it’s quite a common trait out there: we’re being nice instead of friendly. Being nice is putting yourself above others and above your own health. Being friendly on the other hand means acting like a friend, both towards yourself and others.

So what are you doing on a daily basis to clients or people around you, being nice or friendly?

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